fat

this is how i'm feeling today. for those who have never been able to empathize with pork sausage stuffed into casings, feel joyful, because today i understand.

i'm wearing pants that were once snug, then were loose and now they are snug again! I woke up for yoga and every time we did downward facing dog i saw another roll. moving from position to position felt more of a struggle than the poses.

yesterday in zumba i just saw this circular donut in the mirror. which were actually my hips.

on saturday i zipped into (with the help of Dr.Gatewood) a size 6 dress that did not resemble a moomoo or sack of potatos-but rather was a legit size 6 dress. today i am not sure i'd fit into a size 16 and maybe should don the moomoo!?

its amazing how three lbs can actually feel more like 300lbs. Okay-more like 30lbs.

the hardest part about all of this is not the tight pants, not the added pounds, but recognizing that this is more fluff, more rolls, more fat that i was willing to acknowledge and its going to be a lot harder and longer than i anticipated to be back in shape.

so it will mean many more gym classes looking at round shapes in the mirror- wondering how my body even morphed that way and more downward facing dogs and pigeon positions that require bending my body over some rolls a lot more times than i even want to think about.

it means not being a size smaller for a high school reunion. but it possibly means rolling in the new year sans rolls and tight pants...