picture this

i opened the door, waited with my hand in the way of closing, could see it fully and could see it about to be shut only this time it felt like it was slammed.

he only shut the door-my mind turned it into a slam because i set myself up.

boo. i just finished talking upstairs about how i'm happy being single (in a more valid way than i've ever felt before) and have seen this act out with boys and dates etc and then today i set myself to find the crap feeling of rejection.

i need to pick my head up, shake it off and get over it because- a of all it's not that serious and b of all we've long ago established that mwf is not someone who is going to be riding on a white horse into my dream world anytime in this space and time.

i'm stepping down now off of my soap box. might take a few minutes, i climbed up a bit high this time. i could focus on real productive work now... what a novel idea.

okay i'm stepping back into my adult life now where i do productive work and help people with their work and lives. back to my safety zone with my apartment that i love and gym addiction. i'm stepping back into my 27 year old jaded self much happier and in soon to be in better physical and mental shape than that 19 year old that met mwf and seemed to think he was magical and dreamy.

off she goes.