oops

so i am not 100% sure. but i worry that the scale might go up on monday ;(. I think i have been eating too much. and by eating too much, i mean eating too much healthy food. i have sort of abandoned the day to day menu of the Instinct Diet, BUT i have continued to use her recipes and food choices for meals. i mean i guess i'm doing the non conformist version. but i bought some salami (i know so bad) (lol) and have very much enjoyed that with goat cheese as a snack a bit too often. than probably rec.

i think it will be okay because i have continued to hit the gym soooo i'm hoping i won't see the scale go up on monday.

i am (excuse me, i'm going to stand on a soap box for a minute) also pretty sad about my situation with said guy from other posts. he came back in the picture for a minute then continued on his path of selfishness and bad behavior. sadly i've felt that the three months of fun and happiness was NOT worth the hurt i'm going through now. yup i think that's called regret. at this age though as terrible as it seems i would for sure trade those three months for not going through this depressing state of making vats of beef stew applesauce just to keep my mind busy while searching for employment.

some might say that he helped boost me into this nice phase of loosing weight but what's cool is he doesn't get any credit for any of the positive things i've been dealing with as i never at one point thought, "well i'll get fit for jacob" or "i'll show him,i'll loose weight and be even hotter"...nope these are all MY own goals and desires and that does feel good. and for today, it feels good knowing that i would trade that time with someone for happiness now. i know some people might call me a b****. well, we can't always be perfect.

ok but wait-- i did punch MUCH harder at boxing last night than i have in awhile. in fact i think my punches were pretty stellar. so --- jacob i guess you can own that for a minute, the fact that i could move someone wearing a belly pad with my fist. ;) good work.

anyway- thanks for listening. and wish me luck on the overeating healthy food. i know she says in the Instinct diet that you should keep healthy food in the house, but she also didn't say eat it all in one sitting. hmm. balance.

one more thing. i have to keep repeating this...ice cream with high fiber ice cream (add some fruit too) is GENIUS. so yummy!

have a great rest of the week.