hello happiness. its been awhile...

its back. somewhere post jerkface JAD and amazing new job, around the corner from love for my new apartment and have i mentioned my really great job-- anyway somewhere mixed in there was this new discovery; a smile that plants itself on my face and stays there all day.

i'm not that gurl with a big toothy grin planted all day on my face. but rather i feel the beginnings of smile on my best days that stays with me all day. the moment before a smile. the feeling of happiness. the feeling of expectation that always opens the door to see opportunity regardless of the other side.

its here today and i don't want it to leave. its here today while i lift up my coffee mug, with the "wild woman" inscription on the front- found at the thrift store for $1-- and enjoy the coffee i made today that isn't too strong or too weak or needing sugar or more milk...its perfect. and enjoyable.

its here as i think back to the meeting i had yesterday with a financial counselor- who upon leaving reassured me that my situation isn't as bad as i may think it is. and this morning i saved the receipt to begin tracking "my every penny".

and its this feeling that is bandaging the open wound i left out the other day after emailing JAD. unbelievable right- me? jaded-single spinster vowing never to be hurt as such again- emailed the slimiest slimeball of them all, only two nights ago. but this energy, this feeling, this ...thing is covering that wound, wrapping it up and promising its going to heal and i see it, launching these wounds out on a sailboat to the middle of the deep blue sea.

alright enough fluff. its friday. i'm happy. i'm happy i can feel and see my happiness and i'm hopeful that it will stick around for awhile.