laced intentions

my intentions are laced with more than just good. they contain some past tense, some motivation and some ambition. they lack the get up and go sparks that set all these on fire. why i have no idea? they are intentions to hold what i once knew again but in this newness of the chapter i feel i'm currently waiting to start.

i feel like i'm walking on the edge of something good every day of my life and then i turn around and walk the other direction not sure if i'm ready to jump. i'm not usually scared of taking the plunge and am really not sure why i'm holding back?

its everything. its the mundane and the sacred. its not enough water to stay balanced but enough to stay half full.

there's some gusto. but staying power fizzles pretty quick. i add some pop rocks and coke and wait for something to go 'bang'.

i cleaned my bathroom. but didn't feel like cleaning the refrigerator or putting clothes away. although there is some hope for my clothes. i should shower and get this ajax off my skin and thus a nice pre bed time story would putting my clean clothes away.

my scale keeps telling me i'm five lbs more than i really want to be but my mother told me my ribs showing in some pictures isn't very flattering. i've started turning pages of the macrobiotic book i'm thirsty to learn more about and then i eat empty carbs the entire day, including a frozen pizza tonight.

i'm reaching out, stretching, enjoying this single-hood i've waited to basque in and yet my eyes are scanning, looking for you. looking for our romantic moment.

i see some slow down in september and hope to fully enjoy watching leaves falling one day and another day find enjoyment in riding my bike in circles around this city. seeing the moon as beautifully as my short circle tonight.

see the corner of the moon. this great big moon, sitting every so gracefully in the corner of the sky. with so many craters and bumpy surfaces and yet so smooth, so serene--so beautiful-- quietly glowing off in stage right; unnoticed by those of us focused on stage left anxiously awaiting the appearance of some great big thing holding a scroll unveiling all the answers and solutions to every question mark you've created in your world.

the end.