just some words

i'm leaving soon. to my other job. i'm so very tired of leaving work to go to work.

i'm so very tired of working on sunday. and saturday night.

i'm so very tired of being so very tired. of playing catch up with laundry. not able to put clean laundry away until its time to do wash another load of laundry and i need the basket to carry dirty clothes downstairs.

washing dishes provides a small feeling of success every time my kitchen is clean. however folks don't walk through my kitchen to get to the main room. which doesn't sparkle as the kitchen does.

i'm happy on most days. i am. i am happy-- i am more happy than sad and smile more than frown. but i think this is the 2+ job burnout feeling that i don't very much enjoy. and have felt before. and didn't enjoy before.

i think i need to pick an end date for the restaurant and then stick to it. otherwise, i'll continue to be in this foggy tiredness boat floating around in circles looking for land-struggling to continually standing on my toes looking over the cloud surrounding me.

i'm happy. and tired. but hopeful.

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