white blanket - this isn't all about me. just parts.

i should have been sleeping. i started to yawn non stop after 9pm when i sat down to enjoy my dinner. and instead i decided to drink more red and make cookies that i attempted to share with my neighbors.

my neighbors were out until about 11:45pm-- i got "sean neighbor's" text and told him i would meet him outside in 5 minutes to share my experimental dozen or so of cookies. i slide them into the bag still wrapped in tin foil from after they all were covered when i thought sharing wasn't going to happen as it was quite some time before their replies surfaced onto my phone.

and i stepped outside and handed "sean neighbor" the bag of cookies. he might have said thanks, i don't remember because despite the "active listening" class i taught today-i, was not listening. in fact i had stopped listening and instead focused on the white blanket i saw across the street.

i commented to sean-- there's a person there, do you think its going to be cold tonight? and sean and i proceeded in a dialogue about the weather and i attempted to call the hypothermia hotline and hung up, thinking in my head "its not hyporthermia season and lots of people sleep outside on the regular, what makes you think they should get special attention..."

i pushed the thought out of my head, ran upstairs and looked for a blanket. i didn't have one so i grabbed my wallet, walked downstairs and told sean "hurry up, we are going to the Giant and i was supposed to be in bed 2 hours ago."

before heading to the Giant, i should mention that i called the hypothermia hotline again, afterall i've had it in my phone and haven't used it so why not now... and asked do you all pass out blankets. and they answered, despite my thought that they would laugh at me--that they do. although now past hyporthermia season, they close at midnight and i would have to call well before midnight.

so-- back to the giant where i told sean i was looking for an emergency blanket although i doubted giant had them. so we got nutri grain bars, bread and a vitamin water. only to deliver it to a man who poked his head out from the blanket and thanked us for the food multiple times along with saying "god bless you" as i ever so cooly responded that 'it was just a little something and i (as i turned and saw another gray blanket) didn't know there was more than one person' and that the hyporthermia hotline passes out blankets but is closed--and he responded 'there usually is a third person, is he there-- we're good with blankets, but god bless you.'

and i share this now, staying up even later, not because i want you to know the good deed i did, but rather to remind you as i remind myself on the regular, despite all my frustrations, i am so blessed to sleep inside, in an apartment, in the warmth of my bed.

i will talk to them some night when i'm not 2 and a half hours late for bed. and i will hear their story.

but tomorrow night if they are there, i will give them my cookies as they are probably the neighbors i should have been feeding in the first place. and stop being too cool, when handing food to someone who may be hungry.