fat

i saw it. i walked into class and saw it. my rolls, pudge, extra softness or jiggle whatever you want to call it to feel better, it was there. i saw my face a bit chubbier and my body way less defined. all there in the mirror at the gym.

there's no more hiding or eating everything like i have a great metabolism. no more pretending to gear up then having 3 extra snacks a day. it's time to say no to donuts, pastries and tiny pieces of dessert at work.

it's time to eat salad. to work out and to not think that the scale is off. or that i'm just bloated or had too much fiber kind of day.

just because my ever stretching clothes fit or i don't actually have to remove my clothes in the company of anyone i'm trying to impress doesn't mean i can "pretend" that i really didn't gain that much or well you have been under a lot of stress.

yes, today's class is going to leave me sore in a couple of places. my muscles and eyes basically--as i totally denied the fact that i had in fact GAINED extra weight. i saw it in the mirror, felt myself roll over it during dead lifts and couldn't find extra energy for the third set of pushups.

this my friends is what it means to be, OUT of SHAPE and gaining weight.

this being said we'll see how it goes tomorrow and so on.

i will say tonight's salad was just as delicious per usual. and although i over blended the chicken salad (yup kind of gross) tomorrow's wrap will be great. because getting in shape is actually enjoyable and tasty when done right.

i'll try to update measurements tomorrow if the measuring tape can reach all the way around... okay it's not THAT bad nor do i want it to be.